NOTICE OF WARRANT FOR ARREST ISSUEDIt appears that men armed with deadly weapons may appear at my door any minute, and may enter my domicile forcefully if necessary, to apprehend my criminal self.
Please be advised that a warrant for your arrest for contempt of court as a result of an unanswered summons has been issued. It has been forwarded for action to the police department shown above...
Violation: 39: 3-76.2F - Failure to wear seat belt equipment.
Bail amount: $79.00
I considered contesting this citation. Exactly who does it potentially harm, except myself, to not wear a seat belt? Having once survived a crash because I rolled out of the car before the impact, I personally find seatbelts to be a safety hazard. Obviously, I considered my options for too long, and forgot about the fool ticket.
I paid the $79, but still find myself watching my rear view mirror. If they do plan on raiding my house to put me in a cage, in order to protect a vulnerable public from such deviant behavior, I suppose it is only fair to warn them that I used to listen to G. Gordon Liddy for his entertainment value. And I remember his words of wisdom concerning such encounters; "They wear body armor. Aim for the head."
I hear sirens in the distance. Time to head for the basement and barricade the doors.