Monday, March 08, 2004

God Hates Shrimp

This is making the rounds on some of the mailing lists, so I thought I'd mention it here.

From Leviticus 11:9-12 and Deuteronomy 14:9-11, it appears that faithful Christians need to start closing down the local Popeyes and Red Lobster. God hates shrimp, and lobster as well, so we must adhere to the authority of the scriptures, and protect the sanctity of our restaurants.

T-shirts are available.

As a refresher, here are a few other things it appears God hates;

God hates pork chops. (Lev 11:7)

God hates cheeseburgers. (Deut. 14:21)

God hates poly-cotton blends. (Lev. 19:19)

God hates shaving. (Lev. 19:27)

God hates tattoos. (Lev. 19:28)

God hates the handicapped. (Lev 21:17-19)

Ironically, it appears that we got it wrong regarding one reform. God loves slavery. (Lev. 25:44-46)

If we are to purify this decadent world we live in and bring it back in line with biblical standards, we had better get busy. We have lots of work to do. Don't take any shortcuts, though. No fair picking and choosing which biblical standard you are going to champion. God hates that, or at least that was the impression I got the last time She discussed the matter with me.


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